I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
