Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover