Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!

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  (917): I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done! http://tfl.nu/5vwu
  Replies (18) Good night (1305) Bad night (2580) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?

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  (704): I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this? http://tfl.nu/q6uf
  Replies (44) Good night (6278) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.

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  (775): I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie. http://tfl.nu/cht2
  Replies (53) Good night (9025) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.

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  (304): Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/d61m
  Replies (18) Good night (5231) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.

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  (914): Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall. http://tfl.nu/ft7q
  Replies (12) Good night (3069) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"

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  (724): she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it" http://tfl.nu/sq67
  Replies (9) Good night (5568) Bad night (1100)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."

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  (404): You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet." http://tfl.nu/ru2n
  Replies (5) Good night (3766) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.

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  (208): I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind. http://tfl.nu/h3pw
  Replies (8) Good night (4996) Bad night (824) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf

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  (469): Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf http://tfl.nu/kuum
  Replies (6) Good night (1365) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.

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  (845): Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good. http://tfl.nu/x11e
  Replies (0) Good night (997) Bad night (464) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.

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  (215): No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death. http://tfl.nu/8wb9
  Replies (4) Good night (465) Bad night (1529) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.

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  (785): The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked. http://tfl.nu/4i2t
  Replies (6) Good night (1630) Bad night (402)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words

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  (802): Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words http://tfl.nu/ilbf
  Replies (0) Good night (848) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm on the struggle bus

  (847): View more from Illinois

  just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers

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  (847): I'm on the struggle bus (847): just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers http://tfl.nu/5dpp
  Replies (4) Good night (1270) Bad night (401)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.

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  (253): Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts. http://tfl.nu/ycxv
  Replies (4) Good night (853) Bad night (281) Order T-Shirt

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