apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She even gives head with a lisp.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
