Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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