if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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