he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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