I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
So. Much. Porn.
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