Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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