He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She said her name was "party"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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