Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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