please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
