don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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