ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
