hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
