But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
