Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
