i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
