I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
