You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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