You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
