So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
No subtext here. People are naked.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
