love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
