I understand Curling. That high.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
