I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize