She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
