the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
we're so committed to being not committed
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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