it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
