she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize