Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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