i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
