somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize