Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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