Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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