I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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