It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
