You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
