booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
