i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
