youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
