The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
