hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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