It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
