Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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