dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize