Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
