I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
