the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
