Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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