I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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