Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
