Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
