super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
