I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
