Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
