u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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