omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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