This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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