Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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