id be glad to
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
